When do the terrible twos really start

Because toddlers may not have the words to express themselves and are still developing impulse control, they may lash out physically. Crying, wailing or throwing themselves on the floor are common elements of a terrible twos temper tantrum, a hallmark of this developmental phase.

Because of that, they may become very territorial and pick fights with people and even pets! That said, how long the terrible twos lasts depends in part on how you handle the behavior.

Developing a strategy to deal with meltdowns, hitting or temper tantrums can ensure that the behavior will pass quickly. And the right strategy may be different for different kids. First off, take a deep breath. Read on to figure out how to plan your approach to terrible twos discipline. Dealing with a toddler tantrum can be difficult at home, but facing a full-blown meltdown while out in public can be even more challenging.

Many parents worry that a tantrum will happen in public. Of course it will—but so what? So what are some tactics you can use to handle a tantrum while in public? You really wanted a blue crayon, right? It can help her find the words to communicate her frustration. Taking your toddler out of the situation and going for a walk, looking at a picture on the wall or giving her a toy from your purse can all help shift her attention from her initial anger.

Another option that works well for some parents: Narrating what your child should expect. Do you want me to slide with you or do you want to do it by yourself? The same is true for a toddler, Braun says. If your child seems hot and exhausted, dinner with friends may not be the best idea.

By planning in advance, you can stave off tantrums before they start. Above all, terrible twos discipline should be handled calmly—which means no yelling on your part, Braun says. Another piece of terrible twos advice: Instead of getting flustered by every behavior, focus on a handful of specific things you want to work on with your child, like enforcing the no-hitting rule, and direct your energies there, Jacobson says.

And when it comes to terrible twos discipline, experts agree consistency is key. Do take some time to read through these articles with specific strategies to help you with toddler tantrums from a place of connection over correction. As children grow, they become more and more independent and crave freedom to explore their environments as they like. As parents we need to be able to balance our expectations from our child, set the right limits that provide for safe exploration and rein in any unwanted behaviors without crushing their hearts.

Related reading : Age appropriate expectations from toddlers. The more agency our children have over their own life, the calmer and more settled they will be in their daily routine. In fact, we find that children who are given the freedom to explore their environments grow up to be highly motivated. By age 4, children are more emotionally and socially aware, patient and more verbal. This helps them be able to express themselves properly, especially if you have coached them on emotions in the toddler years and you should see an end to tantrums.

If the parents have not been able to teach the child how to express his emotions in an acceptable way and not created an environment at home where the child feels safe to express his true feelings, you will see a continuation of the tantrums and other defiant behaviors. Related reading : How to get your toddler to listen without yelling. Emotion Coaching I highly recommend the my feelings cards as a game based way to work through and regulate emotions.

For an in-depth look at how to deal with the terrible twos I would recommend reading this post I wrote with 10 tried and true tips that helped us through the twos. My aim writing this post for you was to help you understand that though right now you may be feeling alone and lost as you parent your two-year-old, this is just a phase that will soon pass. When these years have gone by, you will see how the gentle parenting approach you take today helps your child grow more confident and settled.

Why is your toddler acting this way? One main reason is that kids this age are going through big developmental changes , and toddlers' thinking and emotions have become more sophisticated. He can do more on his own too. The result: A generous helping of frustration leading to a more-than-fair share of meltdowns, which is why this phase has a not-so-stellar rep and scary-sounding name.

Just remember that there's plenty of "terrific" to go along with the "terrible"! The terrible twos is a bit of a misnomer, since the stage can start anytime between ages 1 and 3. The range in the onset of this phase makes sense. After all, it's understandable why a toddler would feel sad, frustrated or tired when he doesn't have all the words he needs to communicate what he wants from you.

He can't always verbalize, for instance, that he doesn't want to go to the doctor's office or does want to go to the playground and doesn't want to leave once you get there. Plenty of your toddler's wishes — from eating cookies for breakfast to staying on the swings past dinnertime — are those you can't always or ever grant, which is another source of frustration and confusion for a very young child.

Your little one also has lots of feelings, but very few strategies for keeping them in check. All that explains why the toddler years and specifically the so-called terrible twos can be particularly challenging for you and your child. Not all toddlers will have all or any of these terrible two "symptoms. Outsized emotions. Biting, hitting, slapping and other antisocial behaviors, usually aimed at his parents, other children he's in contact with, and his sitter or day care teachers.

The easiest way to handle the terrible twos is to try to keep your calm yes, easier said than done , think of this stage as more positive than negative which in many ways it is! Stick to a routine as much as possible. Toddlers love predictability because it makes them feel safe. So try to aim for regular eating, playing and sleeping times. Be mindful of fatigue and hunger. So carry a bunch of healthy snacks around to stave off hunger pangs and try not to run errands too close to naptime.